Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
