You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
