I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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