He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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