Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Found the puke drawer
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
