The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
