I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
