you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
