Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
