used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
