why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
