This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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