Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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