It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
