This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
