How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
