Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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