We need to rekindle our bromance
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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