You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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