I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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