Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
