I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
