when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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