Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
