do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
