i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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