drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Drunk is not a location!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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