Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
