She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
