Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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