When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
