that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
