That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
