2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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