As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
