just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So vagazzling was a success
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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