You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
