If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
