I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Who died my cat blue again?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
