Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
