Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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