I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
