She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
