tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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