Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
