they need to just BURY HIM!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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