Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize