girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
