You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
