I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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