What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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