More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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