I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she told me i tasted like america
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
