This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
