Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
