Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
are you so shy because you have an std?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
