oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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